Friday, December 28, 2007

As Promised, Resolutions for 3s and 4s

Tips for a better 2008:

Type 3:

1. Cut down on the "little white lies".
2. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.
3. Spend more time with the people you love.
4. If you are an employee and the law requires that your employer offer you a break, take it. They have that law for a reason.
5. Work on a project that has nothing to do with your personal ambitions.
6. Be sure you are working with people, not against them.
7. "In their desire to be accepted by others, some average Threes adapt so much to the expectations of others that they lose touch with what they are really feeling about the situation. Develop yourself by resisting the tendency to adjust to others' expectations. It is imperative that you invest time in discovering your own core values." (Riso and Hudson, Understanding the Enneagram, 335) Might I suggest that you read Finding Your Own North Star (previously blogged about here and here), and follow the suggestions therein? It will help.
8. Take note of the things other people are good at -- and praise them for it.
9.Use your energy for the good of the group as a whole. Be a real "team player".
10. Lower your expectations for success and acclaim.
11. Identify an area of your life where you are honestly in over your head and tell someone about it; they may be able to bail you out before it's too late.
12. Stop comparing yourself to others so much. Your life is your life, not a game with winners and losers.

Type 4:

1. Question your desire to base a permanent identity on an ever-changing set of feelings.
2. Go to work every day, even if you're not in the mood.
3. Plunge in before you're totally ready.
4. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
5. Exercise regularly.
6. If you find yourself imagining what you'd like to say to someone, call them up and say it for real. If it's something you shouldn't say, try putting it out of your mind.
7. Find someone -- either a friend or a therapist -- to whom you can talk openly.
8. Get involved with a community service organization.
9. Let your parents off the hook; at a certain point in adulthood, complaining about them excessively just becomes unseemly.
10. When you feel misunderstood, make one more earnest attempt to communicate.
11. If someone seems critical of you, double-check to see if their remark is intended as a critique. If it is, you be the judge of whether the criticism is true.
12. Speak more kindly to yourself.

5s and 6s are up next.

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