Christmas is (almost) behind us, and our next major holiday stop is New Year's Eve. While drinking champagne and desperately searching for someone to kiss at midnight are certainly fine traditions, my favorite is the annual taking stock that is the New Year's resolution. In that spirit, I am going to offer some type-specific suggestions for how you might make things go better in the coming year. 2008 is a blank slate! These are adapted from the "Recommendations" chapter of Riso and Hudson's Understanding the Enneagram.
1. Practice a relaxation technique, any relaxation technique. Try meditation or get a massage.
2. Be more patient with others.
3. Lead by example, not by lecture.
4. Speak more kindly to yourself and others.
5. Keep a journal in which you are totally honest about your feelings and impulses.
6. Join a group that will allow you to talk about your feelings without passing judgement.
7. Pay attention to how you are coming across to others; if you seem angry, they will probably get defensive and resist your advice.
8. Take measures to prevent or treat high blood pressure, ulcers, and other health problems.
9. Reflect on this quote: "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." (Lady Dorothy Nevill)
10. Listen more.
11. Be more aware of the ways in which perfect is often the enemy of good.
12. Every day, pick a rule that doesn't really matter -- and break it.
13. When you feel annoyed by something petty, ask yourself about the underlying issue -- and address that instead.
1. Put yourself first sometimes.
2. Make sure you get enough sleep every night.
3. Eat three good meals a day.
4. Examine your own motives for helping.
5. If you are in a codependent relationship, get support and change that dynamic.
6. Communicate more directly.
7. Be willing to take "no" for an answer.
8. Let your own good deeds go unrewarded sometimes.
9. Give others positive reinforcement, but only if they're actually doing something good.
10. Teach a man to fish.
11. Honor your close relationships by not spreading your time and energy too thin.
12. Appreciate the affection you are given, even if it does not come in the form you would most like.
13. Let go of being possessive.
14. No more fixer-upper boyfriends or girlfriends!
Stay tuned. Resolutions for the other types are coming soon.