The Enneagram and Emotional Maturity

After Patrick O'Leary's talk at the IEA conference, Mary Beth and I attended a session led by Edward Morler. It was called "Integrating the Enneagram of Personality with the Levels of Emotional Maturity." Here's some of Morler's bio:

"Edward E. Morler, M.B.A., Ph.D., is President of Morler International, a management training and development firm specializing in integrity based interpersonal effectiveness. His focus is the custom design and delivery of bottom-line, functional skill enhancement programs that simultaneously integrate the principles and dynamics of integrity, emotional maturity, motivation, leadership, and the Enneagram."

Here is my (admittedly sleepy) account of what he said:

According to Morler, Enneagram theory, particularly Riso and Hudson's Nine Levels of Development, describes healthy and unhealthy levels of emotional health, but does not offer much in terms of how to move from one level to the next.
Morler laid out the following ways of dealing with a problem, arranged here from best to worst:

seeing it as an opportunity
coping with it
being antagonistic toward it
being angry at it
being passive-aggressive
fearing it (Morler defined fear as "considerations of potential loss.")
being anxious about it
grieving
sinking into apathy
death

These, he correlated with the Nine Levels of Development for each type. He talked about how, once you have identified the level someone is working at, you can move them up the scale, but no farther up than where you are. Here's the method he suggested: when someone is in apathy, remind them of a reason to grieve (he gave an example of seeing his mom lying on the bed in apathetic depression and reminding her of a house they once had and lost); when someone is grieving, bring up something anxiety-provoking; and so on, until they are in a much better place than before.
Then, Morler gave us another scale of emotional health:

Leader (one who is emotionally mature; when something isn't right, they respond by doing what they can to make it better)
Doer
Coper
Opposer
Manipulator (the most dangerous of people -- a con artist who pretends to be a doer)
Victim

(You can find a lot more info on this scale here.)
According to Morler, if you're not proactively creating something, you are dropping down this scale, which he also correlated with the Nine Levels.
Here are Morler's steps to change when dealing with a problem: (1) recognition of the problem, (2) ownership of the problem ("What am I contributing to this?"), (3) forgiving oneself and acknowledging one's positive contributions, and (4) doing something different.

Here are some of my critiques:

In my opinion, the Riso/ Hudson material does offer a method of getting healthier; it's simply usually dismissed in favor of more gimmicky approaches. What it doesn't offer is a way of moving another person between levels, but Riso and Hudson would probably say that that's not the point of the Enneagram anyway.
Also, the technique Morler presented seemed like a quick fix. He admitted that his mom, for instance, stayed stuck in the anxiety state most of the time. It seems like his method could be good for talking someone out of a suicide or even just putting someone in a temporarily better mood, but without the hard work of self-observation (advocated by Riso and Hudson), that person is probably never going to become emotionally healthy.
Another thing Mary Beth and I noticed is that some of the responses to problems did not seem entirely logically arranged from best to worst. For instance, why is anger a better response than anxiety? Perhaps Morler has a good reason, but allow me to advance a theory: the arrangement plays into his type bias.
Let me explain. Morler is an 8, the overexpressor of the gut triad. That means he's got a double-dose of preferring the body center (once, because he's a gut type, and again, because he's an aggressive type.) The aggressives repress the heart center. So, as an 8, Morler's preference goes: body, head, heart. And his levels of appropriate response prioritize anger and passive aggression (body center issues) over fear and anxiety (head center issues), which are in turn, placed above grief (a heart center issue.)
Just a theory.

"It's a Lie": 3-ish Themes in an episode of Buffy

Studying the Enneagram is not the only hobby Mary Beth and I have in common; we are also watching the entire run of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on dvd. This post concerns the 3-sh themes in the 4th season episode "Superstar" (click here for a thorough synopsis), which aired in 2000.

As the episode opens, Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Anya are fighting vampires. When they discover there are five them, Buffy asserts that maybe she could take on two, but the others tell her that the remaining three would kill her. The gang decides they need help. As a viewer, I think this is odd, because Buffy has saved the world from much worse many times before.

The group goes to a mansion. Once inside, they approach a huge, intimidating desk. The chair behind the desk is turned way from the camera so we can't see the occupant. Buffy says something like, "We need your help." The chair turns, and we see that it's Jonathan, who is, basically, this dude that Buffy went to high school with, only now he's looking all James Bond suave/ Dr. Evil smug. He agrees to help.

They all meet up at Giles' place. Willow is on her laptop, studying an image of the crypt where the vampires stay. She is having trouble finding a good way for the gang to sneak in, but Jonathan immediately sees one, and it is agreed that he and Buffy will go to fight the vamps together. As the meeting adjourns, Jonathan passes a chessboard, moves a piece, and announces that he has checkmated Giles (again).

Jonathan and Buffy proceed to kick vampire butt. A vampire gets by Buffy, but Jonathan takes it out. Buffy is a little upset that one got by her, but Jonathan consoles her by telling her she did her best. Buffy expresses doubt, saying it didn't feel like her best at all. Then, paparazzi appear to take pictures of Jonathan, who is, apparently, a huge celebrity.

As the episode goes on, we see various pieces of evidence -- like a poster of Jonathan as a professional basketball player and Willow and Tara making a huge shrine to Jonathan -- that Jonathan is, in fact, simply the best human being, in all categories, that there is. Coincidentally, this was also my (as yet unrealized) childhood ambition. It also resonates strongly with Enneagram type 3, who at their best, "often become outstanding, a kind of human ideal, embodying widely admired qualities." (Riso and Hudson, Personality Types, 95) At their worst, of course, they only mimic these qualities by creating a false image.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Riley are having trouble in their relationship because Buffy is still upset that he slept with Faith (albeit when Faith was in Buffy's body.) Jonathan advises her to forgive him and says that she and Riley have a special relationship that is worth the hard work they will have to put into it. He goes on to say, "If you really want it, you can make anything happen." 3s are often described as "pragmatic and calculating... able to get what they want." (PT, 99) Later on, Jonathan will also advise Riley to make amends with Buffy by assuring her that she is the only one for him.

Back at initiative headquarters, the soldiers are being debriefed about their mission to destroy Adam. Jonathan is introduced as the group's new tactical consultant.

There is also a new monster in town. It has a strange symbol on its forehead and attacks a girl.

That night, at the Bronze, Jonathan is on stage, singing with a jazz band. Our heroes are there to watch the show, and they are enthralled. Xander accuses Anya of calling out Jonathan's name while they were having sex. Jonathan dedicates a song to Buffy and Riley. As they dance together, they sort of make up. Then, the girl who was attacked by the monster comes in and tells Jonathan what happened.

Everybody goes to Jonathan's mansion. There, the girl describes the monster and draws the symbol that was on its forehead. Seeing it, Jonathan dismisses the group's concern and compares the monster to a scared animal, assuring them that it's nothing to worry about. Buffy thinks she should patrol, but Jonathan says it's not necessary.

Next, we see Adam and one of his minions looking at several television monitors. Jonathan is on all of them, being fabulous in various capacities. Adam asks, "Who is that?" and the minion is like, "Are you kidding me?" and then Adam cuts right to the heart of everything, saying, "It's a lie." (Deceit is the passion, or sin, associated with type 3.)

Back at Jonathan's place, we see two blonde twins beckoning Jonathan to come to bed. While no one is trying to track down the monster, it attacks Tara. When Willow finds out, she is very confused because she had total faith in Jonathan, who said the monster wasn't dangerous. "But, Jonathan said it," she states.

Buffy drops by Xander's to look at his collection of Jonathan-themed comics and trading cards. Anya is there, reading Jonathan's autobiography. She is right at the part where he "invents the internet." This is a reference to a rather famous alleged lie/ exaggeration. Describing a 3's descent into unhealthy behaviors, Riso and Hudson write, "Threes begin to oversell themselves, making extraordinary claims about their achievements." (PT, 116) But, of course, in the world of this episode, to paraphrase Michael Jackson, the lie has become the truth.

When the group next meets at Giles' apartment, Buffy, putting her type 6 skepticism to good use (I see her as a type 6 reluctant hero, whereas this page types her as a 4), alleges that Jonathan is just a little too perfect. After all, he's better at slaying than she is, and she's the Slayer, and isn't that supposed to mean something? She also points out some logical flaws -- like, how could Jonathan have graduated from medical school while he was still in high school? As Riso and Hudson say of some Threes, "although they are desperate to convince themselves and others that they are outstanding, others may begin to sense that they are too good to be true: much of what they say about themselves just does not add up." (PT, 116)

To counter Buffy's remarks, Xander asserts that Jonathan is just perfect enough. Buffy asks if Giles has a Jonathan swimsuit calendar. When he produces it, the gang flips through it and sees that Jonathan's shoulder bears the same mark as the monster's forehead.

Just then, Jonathan arrives. He explains that there is a connection between him and the monster. He has fought it before and becomes confused in its presence. He had its mark put on his shoulder as a reminder not to underestimate it. Buffy and Jonathan agree to track down the monster together.

When they go, the rest of the gang looks up the symbol in one of their fabulous reference books. They find out that it is part of a spell that can be used to turn a person into "a paragon -- the best of everything, everyone's ideal."

The only caveat is that using the spell also creates a counterbalance -- "everyone's worst nightmare." That's what the monster is.

By this time, Buffy and Jonathan are searching a cave. Suddenly the monster jumps out at them and knocks Jonathan out.

Back at Giles' place, everyone is speculating about how the world would change if Buffy kills the monster and Jonathan returns to normal. Clearly, they are not wholeheartedly in favor of the change. Giles says that the only thing that would really change is Jonathan. The rest is real.

In truth, though, even though only Jonathan is any different from how things usually are, his change has changed everything for the worst. He has displaced everyone from their roles -- by being the smartest one, he has taken Willow's place as researcher and Giles' place as strategist. He has displaced Buffy as the natural leader of the group, destroying her confidence and stunting her potential. By being the most attractive man, he has eroded the intimacy between Xander and Anya. By being a paragon, he has brought about the worst kind of misplacement of faith -- in Xander, who misguidedly looks up to him, and in Willow, who trusts him so much that she doesn't protect her friend. But Jonathan doesn't really care who gets hurt; his lie that the monster was not a threat is a lie that is "far from insignificant, causing others enormous harm." (PT, 122)

When Jonathan comes to, he sees the monster starting to overpower Buffy. He rushes to help, but doesn't seem to be able to hurt it. Buffy asks Jonathan what she should do, but he says she is going to have to handle it by herself. She seems afraid, but manages to fight valiantly against the creature. The monster knocks Buffy down near the edge of an open pit and it seems like it's going to push her in, but Jonathan tackles it, and he and the monster fall in instead. Buffy grabs Jonathan's foot, saving him, but the monster falls to its death.

On campus, the next day, Buffy spots Jonathan, who is now back to normal. He says everyone seems to be forgetting about what happened, but some people are still mad. He reveals that, after his suicide attempt (a 3's narcissism is fueled by feelings of worthlessness), he met a kid in counseling who taught him how to do the spell. He says the kid really downplayed the evil monster part.

Buffy tells him that that's not the only reason people are angry with him. They didn't like "being sock puppets in his world," she says. People don't like being manipulated. They didn't like living a lie.

Jonathan counters, untruthfully, although he may really believe it, that they weren't sock puppets; they were friends. Here we see the unhealthy 3's difficulty with real relationships. As Riso and Hudson write in Personality Types, "Unhealthy Threes are unable... to have empathy for others. Because they do not see other people as real or as having value without reference to themselves, others become merely providers of attention and admiration, what are called 'narcissistic suppliers', as objects to be used to aggrandize themselves." We saw this tendency toward one-sided, shallow "relationships" in Jonathan also in his choice to have a sexual relationship with a pair of twins, rather than a real girlfriend, when he could presumably have any woman he wants.

Jonathan then remembers the bit of advice he gave Buffy about a relationship taking hard work, and he says that he thinks the advice was right. This shows growth for Jonathan, because it is in direct contrast to the 3's tendency to "begin to coast through life, relying on sex appeal and charm", and, as they become less healthy, to have "whatever energy they may have extended in cultivating relationships stop." (PT, 118)

And yes, I realize that Oz (pictured above) isn't even in this episode, but his was the only action figure I could readily locate. Plus, a little birdie (http://www.buffyguide.com/) tells me we haven't quite seen the last of him yet.

Obama's character

As a follow-up to yesterday's post on Election '08:

David Brooks discusses Obama's character in today's New York Times, here. He doesn't make him sound like a One OR a Three. I don't know what he does sound like -- some healthy type.

I find it interesting what Brooks says about the presidency as a bacterium. I've observed something similar at my workplace. There is a certain position of power that several people have filled over the years, and more often than not, that person has become much less healthy upon taking the job. Cindi and I call that job the ONE RING, because only a person with humility and character can take it on and stay good. I've learned a lot about the Enneagram from observing that position over the years!

Edited: Now to veer completely and utterly off-topic from the Enneagram, but staying related to Obama... One of my favorite blogs, the excellent Baby Name Wizard Blog, announced today its Name of the Year 2007: Barack.

This is why we HAVE judgment

Fascinating internet love mystery here.

Cindi and I suspect Janna is an unhealthy 2.