Mario Sikora, the brain, and the 6's Inner Guidance

Note: This was originally published on 12/16/07, by Mary Beth, of all people.
If you've been following along extremely closely, you know I've been in Tallahassee for the past week. While in Tallahassee I did three things and three things only: work, gain weight, and read books and articles related to the Enneagram. Before I left I had printed out Enneagram Monthly for Nov. of 2006 (one of three issues available for free, here.) My favorite article from it is Notes and Melody #6: Composing the Tune by Mario Sikora. (As you might imagine it is the sixth article in a series; the entire series as well as many of his other articles are available on his website, here, and here is the link to his home page.)

Sikora captured my attention right out of the gate with this clause from his first sentence: "...and being by temperament indifferent to the gentle sound of rustling angels' feathers and earnest tones that accompany much of the talk about the Enneagram...." Hee! I feel the same way. More on that point in a few days.

The article as a whole focuses on coaching Sevens; the part I am going to discuss is about working with Point 5 (whether with Sevens, Fives, or whomever.) I am about to quote a massive amount of Sikora's text; read it here, or read it in the original article (then come back to see what my points are.) It 's the part of the article beginning with the bolded title Point Five. And here begins Mario Sikora's material:


Point Five

I don’t know what you mean when you say Big Mind and Little Mind. First of all there is the brain.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

There is a famous medical case discussed in neuroscience literature in which a woman suffered brain damage that impaired her short-term memory. Much like the character in the film “Memento,” she was unable to form memories of events that occurred after the injury. Each time she visited her doctor, he would hold out his hand and introduce himself anew as if it was the first time they met. If he left the room, even momentarily, she would forget who he was and he would have to introduce himself all over again. One day, the doctor decided to try an experiment: He hid a thumb tack in his hand before entering the examination room. When she
shook his hand, she was pricked by the tack and recoiled in pain. The doctor apologized profusely and left the room after calming the patient. Upon returning a short while later, the patient again had no recollection of the doctor, but she refused to shake his hand. She refused to shake his hand at subsequent visits as well, but when asked why she would offer weak justifications, such as explaining that she feared she would spread a cold or catch germs from the doctor. She had no resistance to shaking other people’s hands, however.
The point of retelling this story is to show that the brain processes information in ways that we are not consciously aware of, either because we have habituated the behavior and no longer need to be consciously aware of it or because we do not have the capacity be consciously aware of it. The first situation happens through repetition. If you do something enough times it becomes automatic. The second situation occurs because of the way the brain evolved—giving us the capacity for mental function before giving us the capacity for consciousness of those functions. (See Part Two for more on this.) Therefore, we have the capacity to process information, store experiences, and manufacture responses in ways that are non-conscious. We “simply” do them, not really understanding why. There is a reason, but the reason is formed through cognitive functions that are not connected to the parts of the brain that we have conscious
access to.
This phenomenon—“knowing” something without being aware of how we know it— is Intuition, the core quality found at Point Five of the Enneagram. (Merriam- Webster Online defines “intuition” as “the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.”)
Alec’s younger brother, Alexei, will be six months old when this article goes to print. He has recently begun to learn things—most importantly how to soothe himself to sleep at night by sticking his fingers in his mouth or reaching for the pacifier. Today, Alexei naturally and unconsciously soothes himself with his fingers, but he is still figuring out how to wrangle the pacifier. Manipulating an external object is a more-complex task than sucking on his fingers and he is figuring it out with some effort struggling to coordinate emerging mental skills with emerging manual dexterity. Soon, however, he will be popping the pacifier in and out, literally in his
sleep, as if it were an appendage.
As we grow, we develop the ability to intuitively process more complex situations or tasks. The oldest of the three Sikora boys, Adrian, is three and a half and can catch a ball thrown from a short distance. Last summer, a thrown ball would bounce off Adrian’s chest as his arms flailed together a beat too slowly. In a few years he will be chasing down pop-ups as effortlessly as you or I shoo away a mosquito.
While they are the easiest to describe, it is not only physical activities that we learn to perform intuitively; the brain is constantly habituating thinking processes and carrying them out below the surface of our awareness. We intuitively step away from a dark alley, resist getting onto an elevator with someone who looks “wrong,” and turn one direction rather than the other when lost. We all have the experience of “knowing” something without being sure why we know it.
Once again, however, the socialization process inhibits our trust in our intuition. As children we think we know what is best for us based on what we feel, but our parents—if we are lucky—do their best to keep us from hurting ourselves. The unintended consequence is that we learn to doubt ourselves when we shouldn’t. And the bigger the risk is, the more we doubt ourselves. We stop relying on our inner knowing and we begin to consciously analyze our circumstances and figure out our responses. Casual situations—catching a ball, driving a car on a familiar road, making small talk by the water cooler—are comfortably handled intuitively. Larger, more-critical situations—who should I marry, where should I live, what car should I buy, etc.—are pulled into consciousness for analysis and resolution.
Again, this is as it should be. The problem, which is typically one of efficacy rather than dire consequence, occurs when situations that can be handled intuitively are forced into the conscious: Decisions are delayed or deferred and opportunities are missed. In the business world this phenomenon is called “paralysis through analysis”: deadlines are missed, market opportunities come and go, time is wasted.
This is the central dilemma found at Point Five of the Enneagram. Again, it occurs for each of us, Ennea-type Five feels the disconnection from intuition most acutely. Rather than trusting inner knowing based on experience, they step back and analyze, weigh options, and cogitate. This stepping back, or detaching, leads to the Five’s not actually doing things, robbing them of opportunities to internalize actions and processes and further reinforcing the need to step back and analyze some
more.
Mature intuition, because it is based on internalized experience, takes time to nurture, just like the rest of the core qualities. One way to assist that development is through the accelerator of “conscious practice.”
The focus of the Five tends to be on observing from a distance rather than engaging and doing. They can nurture intuition by consciously practicing activities so that they develop the ability to do them naturally and unconsciously (that is, intuitively). When we practice something we carve neural pathways in our brain that allow for habituated behavior. While I’ve written in past articles about the danger of habitual behavior and how to overcome it, I am not against unconscious behavior. I
am against ineffective unconscious behavior. There are many times when
unconscious behavior works for us: when swerving the car to avoid a collision, snatching a child out of harm’s way, catching a ball.
Conscious practice allows us to create patterns of effective unconscious behavior.
Here’s how.
Learning follows four typical phases:
1. Unconscious incompetence (“I don’t even know that I don’t know how to do this”),
2. Conscious incompetence (“I now see that I don’t know how to do this”),
3. Conscious competence (“I now see that I know how to do this”), and
4. Unconscious competence (“I no longer pay attention to how I do this”).

Making this cycle conscious is what the accelerator of conscious practice is all about. It means not just “practicing” something, but practicing deliberately in a structured manner.(1) Here are two examples:
Beginning martial artists spend countless hours practicing their techniques individually, executing thousands of single kicks, punches, and blocks until they develop adequate coordination. Then they will string the individual techniques into sequences called “kata” or forms and practice pre-arranged combinations with an opponent. Eventually, they will practice free-style sparring. The martial artist who is new to sparring will be trapped in his head, constantly thinking about what his opponent is doing, might do, and how he will respond. This will cause his movement to be hesitant and stiff, and he will easily be defeated by a more experienced fighter. Eventually, however, with enough practice the martial artist will begin to unconsciously act out his training and experience. His movements will be natural and relaxed, he will find himself automatically executing the techniques he has practiced countless times at just the right moments. He has learned to fight intuitively.
Fives are often plagued by an inability to be decisive. They want one more piece of data to analyze, one more variable to factor, or one more day to consider the evidence before being ready to act. This capacity for patient analysis is a gift and has great potential benefit; it is also the source of frustration for many people who expect decisions from Fives and it is the most common behavioral inhibitor of Fives’ careers.
Fives (and others who struggle to be more decisive) benefit from consciously practicing making decisions, starting small and working up to larger matters. I sometimes urge Fives to pick a simple decision they have to make each day, such as what to have for breakfast, what kind of coffee to have, or what to wear to work, and put a short time limit on themselves. Rather than deliberate for the 30 seconds they may usually take at the Starbucks counter (at the risk of being thrashed by the large and irritated Eight behind them), they limit themselves to 10 seconds. Since the stakes are relatively small, the Five doesn’t lose much by making a decision he
later regrets. As time goes on, he can move to larger and more complicated
decisions to practice.
Despite our view of ourselves and rational creatures, most decisions are based on emotion, and there is a specific feeling that accompanies decisiveness. It is important to learn to recognize the feeling that accompanies this exercise. This feeling can then be deliberately recalled in the future as a useful aid in making more important decisions. What typically happens, however, is that practicing decisiveness eventually makes it an unconscious skill that no longer needs to be practiced.
The goal here is not to make anyone rush to decisions; there are many times when that is a mistake. The goal is to develop the ability to be more decisive when the situation requires. Practicing being decisive at Starbucks today helps one be more decisive in critical matters tomorrow.

Thus ends Mario Sikora's writing, and now back to me:

I love the clarity and specificity with which he lays out his points, and I particularly like his use of brain science (with references to popular cinema and observations of his son's development, too!)

The article also has a long section on working with a 7; as a 6, I identify with both 7 and 5 issues, so I found the article helpful. However, I was quite surprised that the difference between explicit and implicit knowledge is used to discuss point 5, rather than point 6. I associate 6 with needing and wanting more certainty before making decisions, rather than 5. I also associate 6 with the compulsive need to drag things into conscious awareness instead of just doing them.

Sikora's discussion of developing decisiveness and learning to trust to one's intuition reminds me of my task as a 6, which is to learn to trust my Inner Guidance. As a 6 (i.e. as the primary type in the thinking triad), I am supposed to be "most out of touch with" thinking. Riso and Hudson in The Wisdom of the Enneagram say "Sixes are the primary type in the Thinking Triad, meaning that they have the most trouble connecting to their own inner guidance. As a result, they do not have confidence in their own minds and judgment. This does not mean that they do not think. On the contrary, they think -- and worry -- a lot." Riso and Hudson discuss contact with Essence as what helps 6s realize that they are on a firm foundation with their own inner guidance: "When Sixes experience this truth, they feel solid, steady, and supported, as if they were standing on a massive bed of granite. They realize that this ground is the only real security in life, and it is what gives Sixes immense courage. This is the real meaning of faith, their particular Essential quality. Faith is not belief, but a real, immediate knowing that comes from experience. Faith without experience is belief. Faith with experience brings reliable guidance. Much of the personality of Sixes can be seen in an effort to imitate or recreate faith in terms of beliefs and to find a substitute for the certainty that they are already secure as an expression of the Divine."

I find this problematic. As a 6, my central sin is faithlessness (as Cindi and I teach it, anyway -- many others teach that the 6's sin is fear.) The 6's dilemma is how to get there from here? (That is, if you haven't had the kind of experiences Riso and Hudson describe.)

As for Sikora's prescription, frankly, I don't find the advice to practice making small decisions ALL THAT satisfying as a way to access one's intuition, but I do see how it would help, and I see why, and it has the added virtue of not making me extremely uncomfortable.

I am interested in reading more by Mario Sikora, for the reasons enumerated above, and I am in luck, because Cindi received his book, Awareness to Action, for Christmas.

Sikora's discussion of practice and martial arts reminds me of this idea about dreams as the dojo for waking life.

Recap of the January 14th Spirit of the Enneagram Class

Well, tonight's class is off, so perhaps you'd like to stroll down memory lane with a recap of the class we did two weeks ago.

First, we went around the circle talking about our efforts at self-typing. There were a 4 and a 6 in the room, and someone who is probably a 5 but might be a 1, and someone who is probably a 1 but might be a 5, plus a type 2-or-9-why-not-split-the-difference-and-call-it-1, and someone who tests 3 or 7 or 8, but who is probably really a 6, and you get the picture. Luckily, the Enneagram itself is better than any Enneagram test. (If you've got your type narrowed down to a few, check out www.enneagraminstitute.com.misid/ . There, you can click on the matrix for distinctions between two types. To get the full info, you have to register as a member, but it's free to do so.)

Next, as a means of introducing/ reinforcing some characteristics of the types, I presented The Enneagram of Cute Puppies, with the following descriptions:

1. The Stickler -- upright, neat, and attentive. Wants to be good.
2. The Giver -- a nice, sweet dog who wants to be loved.
3. The Achiever/ Performer -- wants to win at the dog show. Shows off his ribbons.
4. The Tragic Romantic -- a melancholy puppy who longs to attract a rescuer.
5. The Thinker/ Observer -- a watchful dog with an overdeveloped head center.
6. The Questioner -- a high stung, nervous, but very engaging little dog. (At this point, Mary Beth told an engaging little story about a hyper little dog.)
7. The Enthusiast -- just wants to run and play.
8. The Boss/ Challenger -- thinks he is a big dog already.
9. The Mediator -- a sleepy dog who doesn't mind being put in the middle of a bun.

Then, we talked about the Enneagram's structure -- particularly, it's organization into triads. You can read all about it here.

This material corresponds with pages 49 - 94 in The Wisdom of the Enneagram.

Recap of the January 7th Spirit of the Enneagram Class

For those of you who were there, or who wished you could be there, here is what happened at the January 7th Spirit of the Enneagram class:


First, we introduced ourselves and chatted a little about our previous experience (if any) with the Enneagram. While some folks were old hands, most were relatively new to the system. A lot of people did have experience with the MBTI, though, so we talked a bit about how the two systems differ. I issued my usual dire warnings about how you probably won't be able to determine your Enneagram type by taking a quiz.
Our historian, Mary Beth, went over the events leading to the e-gram as we know it. Click here for a history lesson. Then, I talked about the meaning of the e-gram symbol itself, quite apart from its application to personality. A version of that information (plus a little recap of Star Wars) can be found here.
Next, we did a little self-reflection exercise. Participants were asked to write on the following topic:


Describe a person you know or know of who is very different from you. This person could be a friend, family member, or coworker, or even a character you have read about in a book. Explain how this person is different from you and what you think led to those differences.


We self-reflected for as long as we could stand it, which turned out to be about 20 minutes.
Being unable to put off an actual discussion of personality psychology any longer, we briefly introduced the types by talking about their characteristic sins and virtues. Highlights included Mary Beth's discussion of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a type 3, and David's characterization of type 9 as a "chair warmer."
We assigned the following homework:


Make some attempt to determine your Enneagram type, or to at least narrow it down to a couple of possibilities. Mary Beth's advice on how to go about doing so can be found here.


This lesson corresponded primarily to pages 7 - 26 in The Wisdom of the Enneagram, and we do recommend that you get the book.

Total Eclipse of the Enneagram Autobiography Class 6 Recap

Once upon a time, I was falling in love; now, I'm only recapping the final class.

We started off with most people talking about saying yes when they mean no and how it's best if you don't let drunk and/ or controlling people make your decisions for you.

Then, we briefly touched on type 1 (see pages 97 - 124 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram) before rushing out to see the moon looking like this:

and then this:

I thought the eclipse would have progressed further by then, but I misunderstood the time at which it was to occur. A perfectionist, I am not.

We did a relaxation meditation and learned that, like cubes, we are six-sided.

We talked about the "Seven Tools for Transformation" given on pages 345 - 347 of the book and also here and handed out copies of "The Stages of the Work" from page 383.

At last, we looked at the moon again. It was doing this:

and this:

We watched until the earth's shadow briefly blotted it out of the sky.

Up next: this Wednesday, Mary Beth and I will lead a session of informal chat and meditation. All are welcome to join.

The Penultimate Recap: Enneagram Autobiography Class 5

We had twice as many people as the time before!
We talked about boredom, how it feels, and the need to keep the energy in a room pumped up.
We introduced the gut triad; it's all about anger (for type 8), tension (for type 1), and banana bread (for type 9).
We talked about how 8s have to have it out before they can let it go, their effect on the family dog, and their capacity for leadership.
We talked about the 9's suitability as a spouse, their forgetfulness, and their love of proverbs and aphorisms (see page 330 in The Wisdom of the Enneagram.) We visited Moronland.
We suggested the consideration of the following questions from the big book:

"Explore the various circumstances in which you have put yourself under pressure [to provide for others, to be strong for them, to never cry, show weakness, doubt, or indecision]. Who were you doing it for? Was the outcome worth the effort? What do you think would have happened if you had been a little easier on yourself?"

"Think of times in which you went along with the plans, preferences, or choices of others and submerged your own choices. What did this do to your sense of involvement?To your contact with yourself and your experience? Did you resent having to go along? How did you dispense with your own choice? What did you hope to gain by doing so?"

"Notice how many times a day you are dissappointed with yourself or others. Keep track of this for a few days. What standards are you measuring everything against? Question and examine the nature of these standards and their effect on you and the people in your life."

Next time:
Type 1 gets equal time, we learn to relax, and we write with, of all things, our hands. And, oh yeah, spiritual growth. See you then.

The Enneagram Will Help You... Teach Flute Lessons?!!!

Well, I knew The Wisdom of the Enneagram was a good book, but...
Check out the following link: http://www.jennifercluff.com/teach.htm, then click on the topic "helpful info for new flute teachers" and read item #5.
Thanks to flautist Amy D. for this tip.

The Alex n' Audrey Show: Enneagram Autobiography Class 4 Recap

Class session 4 was lightly attended, but deeply felt. Here's what happened:

1. Those who were present (namely Alex and Audrey) shared extensively from their journals. And you missed it!
2. Mary Beth revealed that she had responded to all six of last week's journal questions. (!@#$%&*!!! overacheiver!)
3. In lieu of meditation, I imagined drop-kicking the cd player.
4. Mary Beth talked about 6s and the interplay of compliance and withdrawal in her own life.
5. We talked about how to break out of the type 6 pattern. There is a section called "Practices that Help Sixes Develop" on pages 253 - 255 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram.
6. We also talked about type 7, the habit of collecting experiences (and handshakes), and keeping the energy up when you're feeling down.
7. We suggested a few topics for the journal, including this one (as always, from The W of the E):

"Study what you are calling boredom. What does it feel like in your body? What is the sensation of boredom? As you are able to sense it, what associations or memories does it bring up?"

Next time, we'll discuss: If birds of a feather flock together, why do opposites attract? And types 8 and 9. (See pages 287 - 340 of our favorite book.) Hope to see you there.

Fear and Anxiety in Nashvegas: Enneagram Autobiography Class 3 Recap

Before session 3 of the Enneagram Autobiography class, there was a Mexican dinner in the social area of FUUN. During the dinner, we were asked to say a few words about the topic of the class. I tried to win over prospective new students by saying we would be "exploring issues of fear and anxiety." Shockingly enough, a couple of new people came to the class anyway.

As is our way, we went around the room sharing our thoughts. The two most popular homework questions turned out to be "How do I know that I am loved?" and "What does focusing on your differences with other people cost you?", so most people spoke to those.

We talked about differences and the creation of drama in relationship to type 4. The 4s in the room denied being dramatic. That is not the way they perceive it at all and they explained their behavior, rather, in terms of being sensitive.

I recommended the book Emotions and the Enneagram, by Margaret Fringes Keyes, as an insightful take on the Enneagram as a whole and type 4 in particular. It explains how 4s romanticize loss and use melancholy to stave off real depression. Mary Beth talked about connections between personality type and brain chemistry and recommended Riso and Hudson's book Personality Types, which correlates Ennegram Types with the DSM, and a website called something like "The Enneagram: A Clinical Pharmacist's View." It seems that this site has been taken down, but I was able to find the pahramcist's description of type 4 here.

Next, we segued over to the head triad -- the triad associated with fear, anxiety, and worry. I was reminded of this church sign I photographed recently:

We meditated a bit, and having acheived full Presence, were able to fully notice things like how funny-shaped the room was and that it had closets. If you would like to have such revelations at home, follow the instructions on page 217 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram.

We spoke of type 5 and their love of skulls and dead chickens. I found myself talking at length about the "effective" combination of the type 5 propensity for ignoring one's emotions combined with the type 4 habit of making a really big deal of them. It sound like a paradox, but it has played out in my life, and there were a few knowing nods in the room.

For homework, we suggested the consideration of the following questions from The Wisdom of the Enneagram:

"Record your observations about isolation. What kinds of situations cause you to detach emotionally? What are your attitudes about people at such times? About social life? About yourself? Can you recall any incidences from your childhood that you feel reinforced this tendency in you? Did you feel engulfed by others' needs or intruded upon? What would it take to be in relationship with others and not lose your own sense of purpose?"

"Record any examples of times in your life when you let significant opportunities for growth and challenge pass you by. Why did you decide to let them go? Would belief in your own abilities have changed the outcome?

Recall some times when you did fly against common sense and took a chance. What was the outcome? How did you feel at the time?Are there areas in your life now where you know that you are resisting your true desires out of fears or doubts about yourself? What can you do differently?"

Up next: More fear and anxiety, as Mary Beth leads the discussion on types 6 and 7.

To Prepare: Look over pages 235 - 286 in The Wisdom of the Enneagram.

We Now Take a Break from Our Regularly Sceduled Programming to Recap Enneagram Autobiography Class 2

If you have been reading this blog, you have probably noticed that we have more or less abandoned our purported topic, the Enneagram, in favor of a new obsession -- Presidential politics. This is an example of what Mary Beth and I like to call "following the car." (For further explanation, see our first ever blog post.) If this is not your cup of tea, be patient; we will almost certainly turn our attentions back to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or some such real soon.
Nonetheless, we have our responsibilities, so here's what happened in session 2 of the Enneagram Autobiography class:


1. Mary Beth and I both had diseases. In her case, it was pink eye. In mine, it was yakky-mouth-itis. As such, I proposed the following division of labor: I would hand out handouts and she would do the talking. Alas, there is no known cure for yakky-mouth-itis.
2. We went around the room sharing selected details from our autobiographies, which I will not post here. If you want to hear the juicy stuff, you have to attend the class. (Next session: Wednesday, January 30th, 7:00pm, First Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashville.)
3. I attempted to answer all Enneagram-related "huh?" and "what?"-type questions with this handout.
4. We talked about why meditation is an important tool for observing one's own ego at work, recommended chapter 4, "Cultivating Awareness," of The Wisdom of the Enneagram, and did a lovingkindness meditation.
5. Mary Beth talked about the emotional issues of types 2 ("I can only give help; I can't accept help") and 3 ("I really am a doctor, but it's still like I'm playing one on tv.")
6. We suggested some journaling topics. Here are a few (all are from The Wisdom of the Enneagram):

"Explore the question, 'How do I know that I am loved?' What counts for love in your life? Whose love are you looking for? What are the signs that this person is giving you love? How do you know, or how would you know that you are loved?"

"What does success mean to you? What did it mean to your parents? What does it mean to your peers? Any connections?"

"Notice your tendency to automatically focus on your differences with people. What does this cost you in terms of your connectedness with others? Does it prevent you from taking up activities that might be beneficial to you?"

Next time:

We'll talk about the emotional issues of types 4, 5, and 6 and learn how to really look at things. To prepare, you might want to look over pages 178 - 259 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram. Also, please bring your journal to class.

Of Shapes and Intuition: Class 1 Recap

Having braved the sleet and, in some cases, potluck dining, a stalwart group of learners made it to session 1 of our Enneagram Autobiography class. We met in the broom closet (er, Emerson room) of the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashville.
Once we settled into the space, introductions ensued. I told my story and suggested that Mary Beth go last. We had a few participants who were too new to the Enneagram to know their types (including one who said she knew only that the Enneagram was about "shapes and intuition", which I wrote down, because I thought it was both apt and interesting), an 8, and a goodly number of 4s. I tried to skip Mary Beth, but she talked anyway.
Then, Mary Beth gave out this handout, which is about how to go about determining your type.
Wasting no time, I drew some shapes on the flip chart. The shapes were: a circle, a triangle, and a hexad, or figure made up of six lines. Together, they make up the Enneagram.
Mary Beth explained each of the nine personality types in turn. Celebrities that were mentioned included:

Type 1 -- Hillary Clinton, Martha Stewart, Al Gore
Type 2 -- Mother Teresa, Kathy Bates' character in Misery
Type 3 -- Tom Cruise, Mitt Romney
Type 4 -- James Dean, Judy Garland, Moana from The Bachelor: Paris (Check out this article where she talks about starting a charity for struggling artists and creating her own line of jewelry!)
Type 5 -- Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, David Lynch, Tim Burton, Stephen King, me
Type 6 -- Woody Allen, Mel Gibson, Meg Ryan, Mary Beth
Type 7 -- Robin Williams, Jim Carrey
Type 8 -- Danny Devito, Martin Luther King, Jr.
Type 9 -- Did we mention any type 9 celebrities? Oh well, part of being a type 9 is being overlooked.

If you need a memory-refresher, you can find brief descriptions of the types on pages 10 - 12 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram.

Next, we moved on to the real focus of the class, which is exploring our own lives. To start, we passed out sheets of paper and suggested that everyone write a "bare bones" biography of themselves, just covering the major events, concerns, and relationships of each decade of their lives -- one page per decade. Full instructions for this exercise are on pages 5 and 6 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram. Guiding questions for this exercise were:

--Where did I live during this decade?
-- What were my most important relationships?
-- What were the major events of this time period?
-- What was I doing in terms of career, job, or school?
-- What happened within my family?
-- What goals did I have?
-- What were my conflicts, worries, and concerns?
-- How did I typically spend my time and energy?

Then, we adjourned a bit early due to increasing snowfall.

Next week:

-- We'll check in and talk briefly about our bios and any self-typing revelations.
-- Since we didn't talk much about intuition (only shapes), I plan to bring in some Helen Palmer material. She writes about the Enneagram and intuition.
-- There will be a handout further explaining the triads and direction of integration and disintegration.
-- We will focus in on the heart triad and type 4 especially, and fill out our bios with issues of shame and self-image.
-- Rumor has it, we will be moving to the larger meditation (er, Thoreau) room.
-- There will be food from Chinatown restaurant in the social area stating at 6:00. Cost is $7 per person.

What you should be doing now:

-- Finishing up your "bare bones" bio
-- Looking at pages 125 - 205 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram. These pages cover the "heart triad" types, and will let you know what you're in for next session.
-- Making comments on this blog post.

What you should bring to the next session:

-- Your notebook with your bio.
-- Your copy of The Wisdom of the Enneagram, if you have one.
-- Your enthusiasm for learning.
-- An interested friend.

If you are following along from a remote location:

-- Feel free to keep up with the class by doing the exercises, reading the book, and posting your comments and questions.

If you are following along from a semi-remote location in middle Tennessee:

-- Please feel free to join us for the next session. We would love to have you!

The Long-Awaited Syllabus, etc.

If you have been following along, you probably already know that Mary Beth and I are teaching a class starting next Wednesday. The focus of the class will be applying the insights of the Enneagram to one's own life. There will be six sessions, Wednesday evenings from 7:00 - 8:30 at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashville (located at 1808 Woodmont Blvd.) This is part of the adult religious education program at the church, by anyone is welcome to attend. There is no cost.

Here are some things you might not know:

1. What will be discussing during each class? Here it is:

1/16 -- introductions, an Enneagram overview, how to determine your type, an easy way to start writing about your life
1/23 -- issues of self-image and shame, lovingkindness meditation
1/30 -- open discussion, issues of fear and anxiety, group exercise ("reconnecting with the world")
2/6 -- more talk, issues of resistance and anger, proverbs and their opposites
2/13 -- talking about journaling, putting it all together, the Enneagram and spiritual practice
2/20 -- lingering questions, suggestions and next steps, handwriting analysis
At least, that's the plan for now.

2. How can you be a gold-star student?

Two suggestions:

a. Go ahead and get The Wisdom of the Enneagram , which we will be using throughout the class, and read as much of it as you can stand, particularly from "Part I: The Inward Journey", which we won't have much time to cover.
b. Bring a notebook and a pen to the first class.
These are just suggestions. All you really have to do is show up and we'll take care of you.

3. What's to eat?

Dinner is served in the social area of the church, starting at 6:00. Usually, it is a catered, vegetarian-friendly dinner from a local restaurant. Price is a reasonable $7. For the first session, though, it's potluck night, so there's no fee, but you have to bring a dish to share.

4. I don't live in middle Tennessee. How can I still benefit from this goodness?

Before every class, we will post, right here on this very blog, questions for your consideration and discussion. You are invited to comment and might even get to exchange ideas with actual class members.
After every class, we will post a recap so you can follow the discussion. We'll let you know what exercises we did, what questions we answered, which pages in the book we made reference to, etc.

I hope to see you all on Wednesday! If you still have questions, feel free to email me at cindibrown@email.com.

Riso and Hudson on the Enneagram versus one-size-fits-all advice; plus, Diet advice for 2s

Wise words from page 2 of The Wisdom of the Enneagram:

We believe that most self-help books are not necessarily wrong, but merely
incomplete. For example, even with a basic topic like weight loss,
there are many possible reasons why a person might have a weight problem
or issues with food -- a sugar sensitivity, or excessive fat in the diet, or
nervous eating to repress anxiety, or any number of other emotional
issues. Without identifying the specific core issues that are causing the
problem, no solution is likely, no matter how great the effort.

The self-help author's prescriptions are usually based on methods that have
worked for him or her personally and reflect his or her own psychological
makeup and personal process. If a reader happens to have a similar
psychological makeup, the author's method may be effective. But if there
is little "match," the reader may be misled rather than helped.

...

This diversity explains why what is good advice for one person can be
disastrous for another. Telling some types that they need to focus
more on their feelings is like throwing water on a drowing man. Telling
other types that they need to assert themselves more is as foolish as putting an
anorexic person on a diet. In understanding ourselves, our relationships,
our spiritual growth, and many other important issues, we will see that type --
not gender, not culture, and not generational differences -- is the crucial factor.

Web MD has sent me some advice, including diet advice, that seems custom-made for 2s:

Most of us secret believe that good people, especially women, take care of
others first. They wait until everyone else has a plateful and then take what's
left. Unfortunately, most of us make decisions based on our ideas of who we
think we should be, not on who we actually are. The problem is, when we make
choices based on an ideal image of ourselves -- what a good friend would do,
what a good mother would do, what a good wife would do -- we end up having to
take care of ourselves in another way. Enter food.

Read the entire article here. Some of the advice in this article might be somewhat relevant for other women, or other compliant types, but it seems custom-made, and dead-on, for the 2.

I see in the extensive Riso/Hudson quotation above the hint that it might be helpful to have a collection of self-help articles, reviews of books, and personal stories that might be helpful or of interest to people of the particular types. I think that's something the blog format is able to do, because after we've been writing for awhile (and updating daily), we will eventually have amassed quite a collection, sorted by type. For example, click on 3, and one post that will come up is Cindi's from yesterday about (among other things) Martha Beck, who writes about issues of bringing your life in line more with the true self than the persona. (I have read two of Martha Beck's books, Finding Your Own North Star and Leaving the Saints, and would recommend them both, not just to 3s by any means, but to anyone interested in bringing their life more into line with their true values. I don't think any personality type has cornered the market on this issue! Also, she is a funny, delightful writer.)

Back to 2s and dieting: I see 2s as a group as having more trouble with weight gain than any of the other types (taken as a whole.) The Web MD article hits on what is probably the key reason (use of food to soothe oneself and calm unconscious anger about having to sacrifice onself for others). I've also observed two other trends. Deprivation is not a big part of 2 thinking. Neither is following a set of rigid or even objective guidelines. I see 2s who have the ability to go without lunch and go without breakfast in the service of work or in the service of dieting; unfortunately, studies show that this does not actually help one lose weight. I do know a 2 who has been able to follow a diet and exercise plan for over a year; he looks great. Perhaps significantly, though, he is an INTJ, atypical of 2s. Also, as Cindi mentioned two days ago in her New Year's Resolutions for 1s and 2s post, getting enough sleep is often an issue for 2s; I've also read that getting enough sleep is good for keeping one's weight in line.

Mark Your Calendars!

If you live in middle Tennessee, mark your calendar. Mary Beth and I will be teaching a class on Enneagram autobiography on Wednesday nights, starting January 16th and going through February 20th.
Participants will use journaling, discussion, and guided meditations to explore the ways in which their lives fit (or do not fit) patterns described by the Enneagram of personality. The class is free and open to the public. It will be a highly personalized take on the Enneagram, appropriate for anyone from the Enneagram novice to the Enneagram expert. We will use The Wisdom of the Enneagram as our primary textbook.
The class is being offered as part of the adult religious education program at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashville, located at 1808 Woodmont Boulevard. Classes start at 7:00 pm and wrap up at 8:30 pm.
We will post more information, including a class syllabus, soon.

She Said, She Said

You may have noticed that these two recent posts (How to determine your Enneagram type: some recommendations and Self-typing advice from Cindi) deal with the same topic, but don't include the same information. There's a reason for this: when I told Cindi I was writing on this topic, we agreed she would write on the same subject without being tainted by reading what I wrote. This will be a recurring feature: She Said, She Said.

You may also have noticed that our take on the matter did disagree. (I said I start by giving a person three tests and seeing if a pattern emerges; Cindi said this way lies madness. Cindi said she starts by suggesting they read an introductory book cover to cover, but that some people won't; I -- agree.) I have sent the series of three email tests to people who live far away or who I want to get some info on immediately, but I've had good luck with lending out The Wisdom of the Enneagram, too. SOME people both will read it, and can see their type from reading it. To be specific, one was clearly a 5, read the book, and said he was a 5. Another seemed like a 1 to Cindi and me, read the book, said he was a 3, Cindi and I said have you considered 1, he said yeah but I'm a 3, we said ok, and he turned out to be a 3 -- big-time. Another friend I lent it to said he was a 1, and I realized he was right (I had been suspecting 6, but 1 fit better.) But there have been others who have taken the book but not been able to determine their type. I think some types have a harder time hearing "The ringing bell" Cindi talks about. I know I did!